Heartbroken

Phil Nowack

Well-known member
Today we said goodbye to my best friend and Dog of a Lifetime. Nowacks Northern Flight Kodiak I have often said that the greatest act of love is to take their pain from them, and carry it in your heart for the rest of your life. I prayed and begged that I would not have to do that with Kodi. He had a mass taken off his chest 2 1/2 years ago. It was non-cancerous. It came back and was diagnosed as a soft tissue sarcoma the week of Thanksgiving last year. At that time the University of Wisconsin-Madison Vet school also diagnosed him with advanced Larengetical Paralysis. They were amazed that he was still an active hunter. Over the last year, the tumor has continued to grow, and extend under his front leg. This has caused him to not be able to move quickly or easily. The LarPar has gotten worse, but not debilitating. Inspite of that, he has been happy and healthy and fairly active for an 11 year old Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He even has generally accepted and loved his little brother Otter. He has been a little more snappy at Otter the last 3 weeks. I suspected he was starting to not feel so well. His general condition hadn't changed until Wednesday this week when he started to limp a lot more. Then Thursday and today he refused to eat. Not even Satin balls. Well, he did eat two of them last night out of Sarah's hand. He refused to touch them today. I know his back end has been getting weaker in the last month, and he has been losing weight, even though he was eating until the last day. Yesterday and today, he would only get up when coaxed. I know it was the right time, but my heart doesn't feel like it was. Everyone that met him loved him... or at least acted like they did. Some of my hunting buddies that were lab guys have now converted, because of Kodi. I could never ask for a better dog. I only hope he thinks I deserved him and lived up to my end of the deal. You have been a wonderful retriever, inspite of my training. You have been a defender of us and our home. Woodchucks fear you. As do most visitors to our home. You certainly have a big boy bark, that will stop anyone in their tracks. I still don't know how you managed to grab the TP and pulled it around 3 corners and 20' away without it breaking! It is funny, even when you know this is what happens in the end, you never think about it what you get that little puppy... Even now as Otter just turned 9 months old this week, my brain can not conceptualize that he will break what part of my heart, that is still intact after today, in 10-15 years. I always call Kodi my Perfect Puppy... because he is... There maybe many great dogs (loves) in my life, but there will never be another one of you Kodiak. I can not imagine never looking into your eyes again, or you dribbling water after a drink, down the back of my legs in the morning. Or the way you loved to have your butt scratched. The cat scratch walking against the walls. I just want to rub you ears and bury my face in that wonderful Chesapeake coat of yours. Gardening will never be the same. Initially it was catching you picking raspberries, peas, and green beans off the plants. But then you figured out, why go to all that work, when you can just wait for mom to pick all of them and you eat them out of the produce basket! You always stayed clear of the tractor and mower, but you KNEW when I was done, and would escort me back to the barn to put it away. You were always so happy to have me back. I will miss your half Chessie Smile, or as we called it, your snear, more than can be put into words. Of all the 1000's of pictures of you, I don?t think I ever got one of your Snear. Otter will miss you as much you missed Grizzly 10 years ago. Please forgive me for the times that I wasn't as good as I could have been. I pray that I did the right thing at the right time, and that forgive me for that too. I love you, I already miss you, until we share the heavenly duck blind again, my Kodi Bear. Please don't chew on Grizzly's ears too much when you see him on the other side of the bridge. Otter and I will be along before you know it We will not forget you! 2/7/07-11/30/18

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Phil,
The price we pay for loving is hurting when the loved one is gone.

The alternative is to not love at all.

I don't think that price is worth paying.

Welcome the sadness as a gift that you have lived well with your Kodie.
Larry
 
Wow, so sorry Phil. I cannot say anything to help you feel any better for now.

Remember him always, as I know you will.

I have something in my eyes, I need to go find a Kleenex.

Jon

Ps, your line- " I have often said that the greatest act of love is to take their pain from them, and carry it in your heart for the rest of your life" will be not soon forgotten, and in fact may be stolen to be used again...
 
Sorry to hear it was Kodi's time.

Look to the joy of Otter in this time with the different qualities and character but the same loyalty and love that he has for you.
 
Damn Phil, I really am so so sorry.
I never met Kodi but I sure loved reading about him all these years. Thanks for sharing him with us.
 
Phil, I was so sorry to hear the bad news about Kodi. I had tears in my eyes after reading your post,and I suspect many other members felt the same as I. Kodi was a great family member and companion. It's a shame that their lives go by so fast.
 
So sorry to see the news brother. My heart aches with you as the pain is still fresh from losing my 13 year old yellow in April.
 
Best looking Chesapeake I ever saw. So sorry for your loss Phil.

Dogs give us some of the best days of our lives.........and the worst one
 
Bob Furia recently carved a tribute urn decoy for a dog owner. The inscription was one that really stuck with me because it summed-up fully and succinctly what hunting dog ownership encompasses: You were our favorite Hello, and our hardest Goodbye! Our condolences to you on the loss of your best friend...
 
Phil - I am very sorry for your loss! We hurt with you. I've heard it said about losing a dog, "It's the price we pay for a priceless experience."

I pray Otter retrieves many more Canvasbacks and fills your hurting heart with joy... Godspeed Kodi and thank your for all the joy and faithfulness you gave to Phil and the Nowack Family!
 
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So sorry for the loss of your buddy. Have been down that rd. before with my last male chessie at 13. Remember him in your heart and he,s never far from you.
 
Phil

That is quite a tribute and my heart goes out to you because I know the pain. I'm truly sorry for your loss.

Eric
 
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