Todd Duncan Tennyson
Well-known member
i lived on a block
like any other block
it was houses on rows
lights on corners
kids played out until about dark
until their candles were all burned up
dogs barked at birds and shadows
a normal place
regular
over a the last year or so
i'd followed a neighbor’s car to the store
i was not trying to follow the neighbor
apparently my schedule matched up with hers
her car was sluggish
all her turns were really wide
she bought her cigarettes in front of me
i looked in her eyes
i did not register
with her
she’d already “left”
there was not a flicker of light left
within her
she ate a bullet a few days later
nobody really knew her
i walked in the dark with my hounds
up over the hills and to the little market
talked with the folks there for a few minutes (they seemed glad when i walked through the doors with my dogs, so we never got thrown out).
i did not walk anywhere without my dogs
she killed herself
i felt terrible (i was her neighbor for over a decade) and knew nothing about her
i bought my fuel and a gigantic candle
walked out into the night with my hound dogs
we lit that candle up on the front steps of her house and i prayed as best as a “non praying” man and 2 dogs can
we said
we were sorry that we were not there when she could have talked to us, and then we told her to leave that dark old house
& walk out and into the light
i remember saying, “i hope it is better for you there, now,
than it was for you here, then”
and we walked away
with the candle burning on the doorstep
an hour or two later,
anya came home from work and remarked upon the candle
i said i set it out to help the dead lady leave the dark house
……………………..
a year or so later, i lost my hound dog
had to put him down
had to walk the old boy in to a friendly grey bearded man
(our vet)
we had to wait for a while
the old black dog scratched at the door (he wanted to leave that place).. i wanted to help him out
i couldn’t carry him out on my back
and with a spike in a vein
a deep breath
and a long sigh
i left all alone
i carried him out of there
in my inadequate human heart
his body on a blanket
i was in a daze
i fired up that old truck and drove
i felt good knowing that the old boy wasn’t hurting anymore
but i missed him
i ached for him
i came home and sobbed with my wife
i cried until the vessels in my eyes blew out
and felt as though i’d been laid open by a sword
we tried to comfort the old boy’s mate
but she didn’t understand all that had happened
things were different
that was all she could comprehend
and more than either of us wanted to
i knocked off and anya lit a candle
put it up on the chest of drawers when i went to bed
(so that the old boy could see the light of the candle
and come back home)
the candle went out (had a really short wick, and although anya tried to nurse its flame)
it went out just the same @10:30 pm
she came to bed a few hours later to join me…
we slept in the dark until anya sat up and said
“did you light that candle back up?”
i said “nope” (i had not)
we sat there in our bed and the candle flickered brightly. @ 1:30 am
anya was shocked and worried
a little freaked out
the flame was like a torch
it danced and lit up the dark corners
in the space we were in
i smiled and said,
“that is just the old boy letting us know he made it home”
“i can not believe it,” she said
“it doesn’t make any sense”
“that candle was out and cold
I checked to be sure”
“you do not have to believe in it for it to be so,”
i said
“it is!”
and we slept with the light flickering
until the candle was all burned up
like any other block
it was houses on rows
lights on corners
kids played out until about dark
until their candles were all burned up
dogs barked at birds and shadows
a normal place
regular
over a the last year or so
i'd followed a neighbor’s car to the store
i was not trying to follow the neighbor
apparently my schedule matched up with hers
her car was sluggish
all her turns were really wide
she bought her cigarettes in front of me
i looked in her eyes
i did not register
with her
she’d already “left”
there was not a flicker of light left
within her
she ate a bullet a few days later
nobody really knew her
i walked in the dark with my hounds
up over the hills and to the little market
talked with the folks there for a few minutes (they seemed glad when i walked through the doors with my dogs, so we never got thrown out).
i did not walk anywhere without my dogs
she killed herself
i felt terrible (i was her neighbor for over a decade) and knew nothing about her
i bought my fuel and a gigantic candle
walked out into the night with my hound dogs
we lit that candle up on the front steps of her house and i prayed as best as a “non praying” man and 2 dogs can
we said
we were sorry that we were not there when she could have talked to us, and then we told her to leave that dark old house
& walk out and into the light
i remember saying, “i hope it is better for you there, now,
than it was for you here, then”
and we walked away
with the candle burning on the doorstep
an hour or two later,
anya came home from work and remarked upon the candle
i said i set it out to help the dead lady leave the dark house
……………………..
a year or so later, i lost my hound dog
had to put him down
had to walk the old boy in to a friendly grey bearded man
(our vet)
we had to wait for a while
the old black dog scratched at the door (he wanted to leave that place).. i wanted to help him out
i couldn’t carry him out on my back
and with a spike in a vein
a deep breath
and a long sigh
i left all alone
i carried him out of there
in my inadequate human heart
his body on a blanket
i was in a daze
i fired up that old truck and drove
i felt good knowing that the old boy wasn’t hurting anymore
but i missed him
i ached for him
i came home and sobbed with my wife
i cried until the vessels in my eyes blew out
and felt as though i’d been laid open by a sword
we tried to comfort the old boy’s mate
but she didn’t understand all that had happened
things were different
that was all she could comprehend
and more than either of us wanted to
i knocked off and anya lit a candle
put it up on the chest of drawers when i went to bed
(so that the old boy could see the light of the candle
and come back home)
the candle went out (had a really short wick, and although anya tried to nurse its flame)
it went out just the same @10:30 pm
she came to bed a few hours later to join me…
we slept in the dark until anya sat up and said
“did you light that candle back up?”
i said “nope” (i had not)
we sat there in our bed and the candle flickered brightly. @ 1:30 am
anya was shocked and worried
a little freaked out
the flame was like a torch
it danced and lit up the dark corners
in the space we were in
i smiled and said,
“that is just the old boy letting us know he made it home”
“i can not believe it,” she said
“it doesn’t make any sense”
“that candle was out and cold
I checked to be sure”
“you do not have to believe in it for it to be so,”
i said
“it is!”
and we slept with the light flickering
until the candle was all burned up
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