Shermie,
I love my 10-gauge, but it is a purpose-built gun. If I'm in the flooded timber, shooting wood ducks and mallards at 10 yards, the 10 is not the right gun. If I was in a layout in freshwater, shooting bluebills, buffleheads, etc. at "eyeball to eyeball" distance, I wouldn't use the 10, though I have. If I'm going after teal, the 10 is not the best choice, either.
But, when I'm gunning open water, and especially if I'm shooting "backup" where my shots are going to start after the birds have flared, the 10 is nice to have. It just seems to "kick" the birds harder when you have to try and down a sailing cripple or shoot "leftovers". The larger bore handles the payloads better, and part of the tradeoff with the 3 1/2" 12 is a smaller payload to get more speed. Or, you can up the load and slow it down a little. Either way, the barrel constriction has more of an effect, and I'd as soon shoot the 10 as a 3 1/2" 12. As anecdotal evidence, too, I know a good number of people down here in Arkansas who have a 3 1/2" 12, and tout its versatility to be the "one gun", but some rarely and some never shoot the 3 1/2" shells through it...so, why have it?
I have a BPS that weighs in at about 10.25 pounds, unloaded, with a long barrel (30"?). The weight absorbs most of the perceived recoil, and you get a "push" rather than a stab. It also means that once you get your swing going, it will keep going.
If I was going to buy another 10, I'd go with the Remington SP-10, which is basically the old Ithaca Mag 10. It won't win any beauty contests like a 10 gauge side-by-side, but again, it's purpose-built. Browning had some troubles early on with their Gold in 10-gauge, but I have recently heard good things about them, too.
Regardless of which 10 you get, spend some time and find the "magic" load for it. The best load for my BPS was Winchester #1's; they quit making them, but it was a stone killer load on everything from bluebills to Canada geese, no "stack loading" with 1's, BB's, etc., just shoot #1's all around. I actually found some Kent #1's and am going to try them this year.
Good luck, and let us know what you do!